Boulder Counselor and Therapist | David Robbins, MA, LPC

Most of us at some level assume or believe that we ‘should’ feel joyful. On the other side of this we probably believe that we ‘should not’ feel fearful. I am most interested when talking about feelings or emotions, such as joy or fear, in looking at the bodily sensations that make up this feeling in the body. You might experiment with this by recalling a time when you felt joyful. Bringing this memory in all its technicolor detail into your mind. Then drop into your body, particularly paying attention to the jaw, throat, chest, stomach, pelvis and notice what sensations are occurring. For me it is expansion in the chest a freedom and looseness in the jaw and throat – that is what I notice most. What do you notice most? Identify that – this is your body’s experience of joy – this i what the mind categorizes as joy when it occurs in the body.

We can do the same with fear. Bring up a memory in which you experienced a fearful time. Again noticing the body – I feel tension in the jaw and a general sense of constriction and tension in my chest and stomach. Notice what your experience is in the body.

Our ‘normal’ or homeostatic state is most likely mid way between these two extreme poles of feeling/emotion. As dynamic beings we need to understand we may move through these sensations, but they will arise and fall away, leaving us somewhere in the middle. We can welcome both of thes states and the dynamic rising and falling, contraction and release, of bodily sensations that leads us there. We don’t really need to strive for either state and we will experience both, if we allow the full spectrum of these sensations. Giving ourselves the permission to feel both poles of emotion and to let go of striving for any idealized state is the key.

Pema Chodron, a revered teacher in the Shambhala Buddhist tradition refers to this as letting in all unwanted guests (and the wanted ones such as joy, happiness, hope, etc.) In the end it is just our experience, our life – by allowing joy we allow fear and by allowing fear we allow a full experience of joy.

Quick mindfulness? Seems like an oxymoron, no? But it is true we can spend quick moments in our everyday life being mindful and it will increase our overall presence, awareness, relaxation, help to mitigate work related (or generalized) anxiety and tension and contribute to a greater sense of groundedness and well-being.

These are very quick exercises that we would engage in for only a few breaths or so to come back to our body and our present experience. I’ll be offering up more of these in future posts, but here are a few to start. I like to do these if I’m working and want a quick fix of mindfulness or am on the go…give them a try and let me know what you think.

1) Stop light meditation – when we hit a red light as we are driving around, take a moment to feel your body how it touches and seat, your feet on the floor of the car, hands on the steering wheel. Take 2-3 conscious breaths, feeling the expansion and contraction of the diaphrahgm as we breath in and out. Keeping your eyes open all the while and you can proceed with breathing and feeling the breathing until the light changes. You an then go on your way. Perhaps keeping some awareness in your body while also keeping most of your awareness outwardly focused to safely and consciously manuever your vehicle.

This would work on bike as well, or on foot if you are a pedestrian. Be creative with this.

2) Telephone Ring meditation -This was mentioned a few posts ago, but I thought I’d list it here again. I discovered quite some time ago when I worked in a high stress corporate environment that I would hold my breath and become quite tense right before I answered the phone. I was anticipating (read as thinking) about what bad news might be coming through the receiver. It was my job to manage difficult situations, so in some ways this was natural. I found that this telephone ring meditation helped me to reduce the level of tension and stress for myself and also be more present to the situation that was arising with the phone call. I felt more balanced and was more effective with my work.

Here’s the instruction for this one: When you hear the phone ring don’t reach for it immediately. Consciously take 1-2 breaths, feeling your feet on the ground, your buttocks in the chair. If you are lost in thought bring your full awareness to the breath and the sensations in your feet and buttocks. At the end of the two breaths answer the phone. You’ll know if you’ve lost track of the present moment and are operating on auto-pilot if neglect to do the breaths before answering the phone. This is a fun one to challenge yourself to do several times a day, or even every time the phone rings. Just remember to be forgiving if you don’t remember to take the space every time before a call. You will become more and more present with the practice over time.

Hope this is helpful.

Warm Regards,

David