Boulder Counselor and Therapist | David Robbins, MA, LPC

Often when we are feeling sad, depressed, or stuck in our lives we feel this sense of void in our lives. This may be slowed thinking, emptiness at an emotional level or just the sense that things are still in our lives – not alot is happening. I experience this feeling as a heaviness in body, with an energy that has a downward movement. Mentally, things are slow and maybe there isn’t much occurring there except for some circulating repetitive thoughts. Often, I experience this first thing in the morning, before my ‘self’ has fully coalesced.

This is actually a unique opportunity. This void might be correlated with emptiness or ‘nothingness’ that is talked about in Buddhist psychology. A Buddhist teacher that I study with calls this the great unborn and Gestalt therapist Fritz Perls refers to this experience as the fertile void. Both of these terms suggest a creative aspect of this void or empty state. There is potential in nothingness, but the Western culture (where efficiency and constant production are prized) often fails to see this as a valuable experience. There cannot be manifestation without nothingness, we must have times of stillness where we do not produce. In fact, I would go as far as to say that we must rest in nothingness sometimes in order to be able to create sometimes.

In my experience as a student of spirituality, a musician and a psychotherapist I have been shown that the most fruitful and creative times for individuals come after a period of nothingness, void-ness, or emptiness that is completely embraced by that person (or group). Often an experience of this kind of not-alot-happening is seen with aversion or distaste and we try to push it away or move out of it, perhaps even feeling a sense of dread or fear. I would suggest that a more useful and healing way to approach this void-like space is to accept it or even welcome it to the best of our ability. Being curious about it – what does this feel like…what is this, we might ask ourselves.

The more we embrace this time of nothingness the greater the rewards in terms of what springs forth from the fertile void. We tend to suffer greatly when we try to push through this and make something happen. Instead, paradoxically by feeling and embodying the nothingness or fertile void as much as we can, it seems to move into another energetic space quite quickly. The struggle with it seems to elongate the experience and enhance a belief that this period of nothing will not pass. Often we simply need to give up and feel the emotional/physical experience of void – it is a form of rest mentally, physically, and emotionally. I might liken it to the time in between planting and harvest, when there is no sign of the plant yet, but we must wait for patiently for the water and fertilizer to do their jobs. If we get out of the way by simply letting this process of fertile void occur the harvest you experience will be worth waiting for.

This way of framing depression, stuckness, or nothingness in our lives goes very contrary to many of our beliefs, largely because of where we were brought up. Often it is helpful to seek out therapy or counseling, or some kind of support to help us unwind the beliefs and resistances to this experience that can keep us in a state of depression, anxiety, fear, or stuckness.